Shame, Austen. A Thanksgiving Drama.

They say one should avoid talk of politics and religion at the Thanksgiving table.  Little did I know things could turn ugly at the mention of one...Jane Austen?  

Here's how it went down.  

After sous chef duties in the kitchen, I sat down for a few minutes with my aunt--a most erudite theatre instructor at a private school in Brooklyn.  We were drinking white wine as I recall--Jonathan Ames' choice of poison--and began to talk about my rabid obsession with the BBC miniseries The Way We Live Now.  

"Have you ever read Trollope?" I asked her.  

"Oh no." She looked almost stricken with regret.  "It's terrible--I really should." 

After two glasses of wine and little sleep, I was feeling generously sympathetic.  I decided to tell her my secret.

"Don't feel bad," I said.  "I haven't read him either.  But worse, I've never actually read any Jane Austen." 

Her eyes widened with alarm.  She began to open and close her mouth, but no sound emerged.  

"I know!" I exclaimed.  "Isn't it terrible?"

"Oh Kayleigh," she murmured disconsolately.  "Oh, my god.  I just..." She broke off and began to shake her head.  "How could you?"

I reddened slightly.  "I mean, I've read all of the Brontes."

She took a long sip of wine, as if to ward off some great trauma.  "I only wish...one of my greatest regrets in this life..." She paused, locking her eyes on mine.  "One of my greatest regrets is that I can't read them--all of them--all over again.  Every word."

At this point, dear reader, you are probably congratulating yourself on your own Brit Lit-free Thanksgiving celebration.  You're right to.  But shame is a powerful motivator.  And so, with apologies to my Aunt*, I've decided to read Emma. Don't try to stop me--it won't be any use.  Mark my words, by Christmas it will be done.  I will seek absolution and find it.      

*and to you for reading this 

Comments

[Dave]

But all the themes in Austen are entrenched in psychology brought on by the rise of agriculture! (I've never read any either, but I'm an unwealthy guy, and frankly I suspect they will bring me bad news.)

[Allison Zentgraf]

Shamesgiving 2011.

[Kayleigh George]

Dave, in that case, you'd probably be cast as the penniless rapscallion. You'd elope with the heroine's younger, misguided sister, and become a source of scorn and derision. A bit more exciting than landed gentry, no?

[Amber]

Fool. Jane Austen IS religion. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. I will pray for you.

[laura k]

Hm. I have to say, I wouldn't start with Emma. But then again, it's probably some one else's favorite, so what do I know?

Is there a reason you're aunt can't read them all again? Or did she mean she can't read them all again for the first time? Because THAT would be kind of amazing.

I'm jealous that my Thanksgiving didn't include any Brit Lit drama.

[Retro Jordan Shoes]

They say one should avoid talk of politics and religion at the Thanksgiving table. Little did I know things could turn ugly at the mention of one...Jane Austen?

Here's how it went down.

After sous chef duties in the kitchen, I sat down for a few minutes with my aunt--a most erudite theatre instructor at a private school in Brooklyn. We were drinking white wine as I recall--Jonathan Ames' choice of poison--and began to talk about my rabid obsession

[rc helicopter]

Impressive blog! -Arron

[North Face Sale]

You'd elope with the heroine's younger, misguided sister, and become a source of scorn and derision. A bit more exciting than landed gentry, no?

[Hermes Replica]

I work at a big bookstore that is pushing their ereader, and I still can't bring myself to get one either. You're not alone.